We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
