I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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