she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
