i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
