watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize