Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
