he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
