I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
