am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
