When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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