Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
