I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Randomize
