Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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