brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
