Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
