Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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