when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize