the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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