woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
