she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize