Where is the hickey?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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