she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
