Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
