In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
