Where is the hickey?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is my gift to your gina
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
