you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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