Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
