if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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