You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
