Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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