yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
