we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it glows. i had to have it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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