Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
