new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
