I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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