Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
