doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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