glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
