Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
