If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
