I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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