I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
