I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
