Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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