I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
