I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
