Jerry, you need to find god
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
