he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
