Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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