There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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