We won't sleep together?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
