I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
