okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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