her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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