Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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