Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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