my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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