Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize