I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
