Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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