I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize