Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
