I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
