3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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