life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
