never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
