hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
