Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize