As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
