Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
