We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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